Seeking Southern Harmony Companionship

I didnt have an extra ticket in reality....but fawning responses were surprising.... 

 ----------------------------------- 
Seeking Southern Harmony Companionship to the Black Crowes on Friday? 

 Wound up with an extra ticket to the Robinson Brothers Orchestra. Friday night. Catch the boys with me, as they let loose from being tied down to the opener gig with Tom Permastoned. ...just looking for a partner in crime, for what should be an incredible show. 

We can meet before, just hang out... talk about our favorite Crowes b-sides... and who knows. Maybe something works out after, no strings attached, even better if you are attached. Maybe we'll be pals, maybe you'll be too creepy for me. I would be curious to what your best features are... from a physical, mental, spiritual, and a polymer standpoint. The latter ... more around your preference for, say, a hi-density-polypropelene or if you like to get freaky with acrylic-styrene-acrylonitrile.

 If you don't look good in a nice pair jeans, then don't bother. Seriously. 

 I'm a tall, financially secure, caucasian, well-built (wink-wink-nudge-nuge), and not a freak-o. I surf regularly, and know how to party (wink-wink-nudge-nuge).

 Aside from your affinity torwards specific plastics, the important criteria... If you don't know who Gram Parsons is... you better have a big rack. Say, D+, or nice firm C on an athletic frame. 

 If you don't know what band Roger McGuinn was in... your ass must look incredible in cheap jeans. Expensive jeans help most women out... so don't give me a pic of you two years ago (pre starving yourself out for your 10 year high school reunion) in Sevens or Rock & Republics or Jack Stars or Jet Lag or Yanuks or Antik Denim... or any jeans that you feel guilty about buying for that matter. 

 If you know what Hanky Panky's are... drinks are on me.
 If you show up wearing Hanky Panky's ... the whole night is on me. 
 If you have some thoughts about what the opening encore number should be... I'll leave the Hanky Panky's be.
 If we both want the same encore number... I'll wear your Hanky Panky's later, and we can role play.

 If you were born on a Thursday, don't bother replying. 
Redheads... must have a great bod... your faces don't usually do much for me. I think I still subconciously think freckles are contagious. 

 Marc Ford is a stud guitarist. I know you agree. 

So next point... I can pick you up if needed... not sure about dropping you off, due to one or more of the following:

a> I'm too hammered 
b> I'm too hammered 
c> You live too far away 
d> The lights go on, and I have to deal with you waiting for Angie or Trish or whomever, to see if you need or ride, or some lame azz excuse why you were supposed to meet up with her/them 
e> You drink 1%, when you know you could be drinking whole 
f> You are too hammered 
g> As in, you are too hammered to be worth my, much less anyone's time 
h> You are unwilling to venture to the afterpary 
i> The afterparty is at your place, and it ain't happening 
j> The afterparty is at your place, but while we are getting ready to head over, because you are too hammered, and I'm not THAT hammered to catch that you slip up about ...first you need to put your ointment on, and become obsessed during the drive over that you need to find your freaking ointment, via your hammeredness
k> I'm too hammered to show you my numchuck skills, bow staff skills or computer hacking skills 
l> Dizzy found me last night 
m> We never really met up in the first place 
n> I somehow, and gosh darn-it, lose you on the way out of the Fi'more 
o> You somehow, and gosh darn-it, lose me on the way out of the Fi'more 
p> Your boyfriend/husband is waiting out in front 
q> The band breaks up before the show 
r> The band breaks up during the show 
s> My girlfriend/wife is waiting out in front 
t> (there will be no "t" in this list. "t" will be banned for the rest of this post, and will be referred to as "()" 
u> I'm ()oo hammered 
v> You have ()oo many issues
x> I didn't ()ake enough X ()o dig you enough 
w> Words You ()hrow Away
y> All/Some/Many/None/Few of the above 

 If you reply back..... I will le() you know abou() Z...

 /Horsehead (ain't no dragonfly) 

 Additionally, I'd like to offer you my coordinates of where you can find me tonight and tomorrow night: 37.54222 latitude,-122.515 ...errr.... -----------------------------------------

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